Not really sure what all I am feeling today but I have come to a few conclusions and decisions about some things. And thought I'd share those with you.
Anger - it's not a bad thing to feel when someone has hurt you. It can be useful in helping you make decisions and choices that need to be made. I don't need to feel bad for holding someone accountable for their actions towards me that cause me to feel hurt and anger. In fact it's healthy for me to allow myself to feel that hurt and anger and, when appropriate, express how I am feeling and what I am thinking as a result. I say all this because my usual MO is to feel it, stuff it down or not let myself feel it, tell the person that it's okay and not to worry about it, and leave it all. But then that opens the door to allow them to do it again...because I feel bad if I make them feel bad...and so I just let it be. I'm not going to do that anymore. Starting today I am expressing it when it needs to be. Letting it be known that it is not okay to hurt me or indirectly my children. It is not okay to treat me badly. It is okay to make choices and decisions but every choice and decision we make has consequences. Starting today I am going to put boundaries in place when these things happen. I have to say allowing myself to feel and do in this way feels really good. I am not responsible for the way others feel...I am responsible for how I allow them to treat me.
Kids - I know that not everyone understands or subscribes to the idea that children are a gift from God. But I believe that. But my actions through the last nine years don't back that up. I have never stood before my church and dedicated my children, and my family, to God. And after listening to the Kastens this morning I realized that I really need to. And so I am going to. Having made the decision I am realizing how big a deal it really is. And I wish I had gone with my heart back when the kids were younger. I always wanted to do it but their dad wasn't a big fan of the idea. I followed his lead in that but never agreed. I am going to follow it on September 19th. And I can't wait!
Well there was a little more that I had thought about today but for now I am tired and going to go and take my Sunday afternoon nap. More to come later.
Kids - I know that not everyone understands or subscribes to the idea that children are a gift from God. But I believe that. But my actions through the last nine years don't back that up. I have never stood before my church and dedicated my children, and my family, to God. And after listening to the Kastens this morning I realized that I really need to. And so I am going to. Having made the decision I am realizing how big a deal it really is. And I wish I had gone with my heart back when the kids were younger. I always wanted to do it but their dad wasn't a big fan of the idea. I followed his lead in that but never agreed. I am going to follow it on September 19th. And I can't wait! 
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