It's About Boundaries....

I find it interesting how God brings circumstances and opportunities to us that very clearly are there to grow us as people, to take us from where we are and push us to new levels and places. I've been intending for quite some time to re-read the book "Boundaries" by Drs. Henry Cloud & John Townsend. I purchased a copy of it (can't seem to find my original one) and have had it sitting next to my bed on my bedside table for the last 2 or 3 weeks...unopened. Until this weekend. Circumstances in one area of my life have prompted me to open it up and begin to read it...and a chapter & a half into the book and I am already seeing how the concepts and ideas and truths in this book are going to affect my life in many areas. And I am excited to see how my life is going to change in positive ways...even though I know some of those changes are going to require dealing with challenges and tough moments. But I say, BRING THEM ON! :)

I am the first to admit that at times I have a hard time remembering that I am not responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone around me. And while that may seem like an obvious statement, and in some areas it is very easy for me to live accordingly, at times I find my heart leading me to places where I really don't need to be, nor should I be. Oh I can care about others, yes. But that is different. I have heard the phrase "Carry your own backpack" talking about personal boundaries. While I sort of grasped the idea, it wasn't until last night, in context, that I really understood the idea...

Galatians 6:2 -5 says:

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load."

I've read this time and again...but reading it now with the help of the "Boundaries" book, I get what is being said here:

"Help each other when things are more than a person can bear. When life throws a curveball or two at someone else, be prepared to step up and help out, even if at personal cost to you. We all go through times when life's burdens really are too heavy for us to carry on our own. But don't forget about your stuff...your attitudes, feelings, behaviours, and daily responsibilities...these are ours to carry and deal with. We are violating the boundaries of someone else when we expect them to carry our loads."

I couldn't have read about this idea at a better time as I have been struggling with the idea of being responsible for the feelings/actions/attitudes of others around me. I was feeling guilty for not doing more but yet I couldn't do more without neglecting my own responsibilities. My inability to do more has led to resentment on the part of other people towards me and I have a hard time with that. But there is nothing I can do about it. I've felt great freedom today as I begin to really grasp this idea. Yes I still feel bad that others are not happy about the situation however their reactions and subsequent actions are not my responsibility. It is theirs. wow is that freeing!! I am already feeling my load becoming less burdensome!

And so with that in mind, I am heading to bed! G'night all!