I am sitting comfortably in my "big girl" bed in my grown-up room feeling the push towards continued change. Recently I took the plunge and eradicated the last vestiges of furniture that remained as part of my room from when I was married...Every time I looked at them (daily) I was reminded of circumstances and things that I have worked hard to put behind me. So one weekend in early April Dara & I headed down to Vancouver and I came back the owner of 2 new night tables, headboard, dresser and 2 lamps (along with various other items for the living room!) and VOILA! My bedroom was transformed! Now it just needs some pretty turquoise (teal) blue curtains to 
go floor to ceiling on the wall the window is on (whole wall covered) and a little artwork on the one wall across from teh bed and I'm good to go. But this wasn't an easy task, transforming this space...it took hours of moving things from one dresser into another space while the new dresser was assembled and furniture had to be moved around and moved back and on and on and on. But in the end the sweat, blood, muscle strains, etc was so worth it. And it's become a metaphor for me of what my life is like in Christ....I have floundered a bit the last few days in terms of where I am at with specific relationships and stuff...and as a result have had a tough evening trying to, mentally, regain some of the ground I lost in the process. However, God is a God of grace and patience and it's a very good thing He is as I probably test His daily! haha!! So...I took a couple steps backwards but, head down and into the wind, I am doggedly moving forward into the fray. That wind might try to blow me backwards but I am determined to move my life from where it is to where I want it to be and that means leaving behind those things that hinder and entangle me. One step at a time...
Part of moving forward requires getting "out there" and involved more. Following what my heart is telling me I need to do. I need to open myself up and be available for whatever God brings my way. Be proactive instead of reactive. I am trying to do that. I have felt for some time that I really wanted to help in the nursery at the church so, instead of just thinking about it and doing nothing, I contacted the church and told them that. And I am slated for two times this summer. I'll be added to the schedule for the fall...and I am really excited about that. I remember when I had my two little ones and if it wasn't for people willing and able to work in the nursery of my church, I wouldn't have sat through a single service in a couple years. I rarely helped in the nursery during those years...I had no desire to be there...but now I do and I can so it is my turn to give to and serve those parents of little children who would otherwise not be able to attend a service. Can't wait!
There are other ways I'd like to get involved in as well...worship bands, youth group...but I am still praying and seeking on those ones. I've put the word out there through an email to the church that i am interested in getting connected to a worship band but haven't heard anything back yet. Might not. And if that's the case, I will take that as a "Not right now" from God and leave myself available for other things. Like possibly the youth ministries or maybe something else entirely!
I also want to get plugged in with an older woman in the church who can mentor me somewhat. I have an idea who I want to talk to...she's a fantastic woman of God, very involved in the church, has strengths in areas that I am weak personally, and I feel comfortable talking to and with her. I KNOW she prays for me and I have a feeling she would be thrilled to come alongside me. So I am going to give her a call (or maybe an email) this week - tomorrow.
So there you have it...the journey continues.
Oh by the way...if anyone knows anyone who is able to sew and who might be willing to help sew aforementioned curtains for me, I'd appreciate it to no end!! I can't find what I want in stores so am going to have to go to the fabric store and start from scratch. But I can't sew. Give me a call!!
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